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7th Anniversary Author: Drunken

  第七回扯嘴皮人前撇假清赌手段当场打死虎西江月日日欢容笑口,时时肥马轻裘。少年场上逞风流。漫道五陵豪杰,何事花迷酒困,不知却夏来伏。红尘满眼叹淹留,怎脱个中彀勾?

这一回,单说近日来,有等小官,专好撇着假清,打点了两副行头,分明要出来干那把刀儿,撞着个肯撒漫两分的,偏又拿班作势,千做作,万妆乔,有许多恶懒光景,人却参不透。元来,如今这些做背后买卖的,那一个不熟谙个中窍脉?外面虽有那些派头,内里巴不得起发他天大一块。只要你肯应承,霎时间那副嘴皮真个就像白铁刀儿一般,最是转口得快。还有一等,初出来的大老官,虽然肯用两分滥钱,还总不久得到家,见那小官撇着假清,只道果然是不肯实赀的,常把个热急急肚肠,都丢在冷灰里去。那里晓得专是那些撇假清的,极是容易到手。

如今且把这样比方说一个着,当初溧阳县有个小官,叫做史小乔,十来岁上,几个无籍光棍见他年纪幼小,又生得有几分姿色,日日哄将出去,做那不明不白的事情。那叔父渐渐晓得了风声,也是为着家门上,恐怕玷没了,没奈何,再三的下苦情,训责了几次。怎知这个下流的不孝东西,那里肯改过分毫。这也不要怪他,总是俗话两句道得好,行要好人,坐要好伴。既入了这个伙伴,缘何有个回头?那叔父见他一日一日,弄得不尴不尬,只得硬了心肠,把他驱逐出门。那些光棍见他叔父这番光景,正中机谋,各人破费两把银子,替这小乔做了几件阔绰衣服,一齐都来到杭州。

原来那杭州,正是作兴小官的地方。那些大老,真叫是眼孔里看不得垃圾,见了个小官,只要是未戴网巾,便是竹竿样的身子,笋尖样的脸皮,身上有几件华丽衣服,走去就是一把现钞。那小乔一伙,共有四人,到得杭州,便向西湖上租了个庄所住下。时值二月中旬,那十锦塘直到六桥,这一带花红柳绿,好不闹热。史小乔与这几个伙伴,都妆作吴下官人打扮,都往十锦塘踱将进去。这些杭州大老,见了这史小乔,个个都把舌颈伸出几寸,一面走,一面拥了二百人,没有一个口里不连声喝采道:”好个标致小官。“看看到了断桥,只见一个富家子弟,带了两个妓家,都骑着高头骏马。史小乔看得眼热,对那伙伴道:”不知那个哥哥身边带得些银子?“众人道:”要他何用?“小乔笑道:”我也心痒起来,打点要去骑一个耍耍。“众人道:”跑马的银子倒有,只怕你骑不惯,半路上跌将下来,可不被众人笑倒?“小乔道:”哥哥们放心,我这跑马的本事,一向有的,试走一会儿,教众人喝采。“众人见他高兴,便不阻拦,连忙雇了一匹马来,他就扳住雕鞍,腾的跨将上去,竟如一道生烟,不消两声咳嗽,已跑过了桥。小乔便带转鞍头,连跑了二回。那些看的人,挨挨挤挤,站在两旁,个个齐声称赞。他便跳将下来,口中略有些微喘。

都是这三回马,便牵动了一个人的肚肠。这个人你道是谁?就是适才同他两个妓家的这个富家子弟,姓姚名瑞。他正跑得完,见后来小乔跑这三回,心中暗喜道:”这个小官不像我杭州人,敢是下路来的?年纪又不多,又有这一身本事。“便把两个妓家先打发下了船去,再踱将过来,问道:”尊兄贵处是那里?“小乔扭着头,随口答应道:”是姑苏。“姚瑞道:”几时到这里的?“小乔道:”到得没多几个日子。“姚瑞道:”还是兄一个来,有什么人同来?“小乔道:”有两个敝友同来。“姚瑞又问道:”如今在那里作寓。“小乔道:”在前面十锦塘庄所里。“姚瑞笑一声道:”这样说,我的书馆也就在西湖大佛寺中,明日正好过来拜望。“小乔道:”既是邻居在这里,明日还要竭诚进谒。但不知高姓大名?“姚瑞道:”我姓姚名瑞,兄若不见鄙,同到那舟中去,聚谈半晌如何?“小乔推却道:”多谢官人雅爱,只是还有几个敝友同在这里,不好抛撇。“姚瑞笑道:”这个何妨?贵处朋友多是在行的,有几位就同接下舱去。“小乔便也应喏,招了那三个过来,与姚瑞见了,遂一同下船。那两个妓家见了小乔走到,都喜欢个不了,众人坐了席,开船竟往湖心亭泊祝那两个妓家对小乔道:”一向闻得贵处朋友曲子最佳,官人决是妙的,求教一个。“小乔笑道:”偏是这件不甚在行。“姚瑞拍手笑道:”凭你两家推逊,决要个着落。“那三个在旁,一齐帮衬道:”既是二位大姐举出,姚相公又要看落,小乔,你就唱一套罢。“小乔便无推脱,就把时曲里的《楼阁重》唱了一个,果然腔板字眼,摹写绝精。姚瑞听了,快活不了,道:”好妙音!好妙音!就是我们杭州城里,那些久惯唱清曲的,没有一个唱得这样曲子。“那两个妓家道:”我两人齐奉一杯,毕竟要请教官人把这一套唱完。“说不了,两个齐站起身,各斟了一巨觞,双双送将过来。小乔只得吃了,又接唱去。这套曲子,约莫唱了个把时辰,不要席上这些人个个说好,连那几个一窍不通的梢子,都喝采起来。姚瑞起身一面斟酒,一面微笑道:”这样的好面孔,又是这样的好曲子,难道不值一万两银子?“大家笑了一声。猜拳的猜拳,掷骰的掷骰,又饮了一会。不觉月上柳梢,姚瑞道:”我们且慢慢观看,喜得坐中还没有要进城的,再把船撑到一桥柳堤边,玩一玩月儿如何?“众人道:”说得有理。这样的月色,最是难得的,正好慢慢耍子。“吩咐梢子又把船撑到一桥,大家同上了岸,仔细一看,果然好一派夜景:酒旗乍卷,画舫初归,北岸渔灯隐隐,南屏钟鼓沉沉。淡烟飞处,两岸垂杨,远处飞来,一群宿鸟。碧波荡漾,相连云影天光;玉宇澄清,唯见彩云明月。

一齐在柳堤上踱来踱去,耍子到了三更时分。猛可的,那一轮明月被一片乌云遮住,霎时间,下了一阵催花细雨。方才同下船来,重整杯盘,又吃得几杯,已到了断桥。遂同上岸,姚瑞又要送小乔,小乔又要送姚瑞,两家扯拽不迭,只得各自分路别去。

咫尺桃源路不远,相逢何意便相难。

只愁惹起闲蜂蝶,空逐东风上下飞。

说这小乔回寓,因夜来中了酒,次日直睡到午后,还走不起来。原来那三个伙伴,一向都是在马扁行中走动的,见小乔睡着,便商量一个计较,径同到大佛寺里来见姚瑞。那姚瑞也为夜来多了酒,才睡起来,还没有梳洗。听就是昨晚在船中吃酒的这些人来见,只道是小乔,连忙梳洗出来,不道是这三个。便问道:”小乔兄缘何今日不与列位同来?“三人道:”不要说起,他有一件事,不好当面启齿,特唤我三人来。一则谢夜来舟中盛情,二则代为转达。“姚瑞道:”好说,好说,不知小乔兄有甚么事?可领教的,无不从命。“三人道:”相公有所不知,那小乔姓史,原是我姑苏大族人家,早年不幸没了父母,一向投奔在叔子身边。不料去年冬里,为他父亲在日拖欠的钱粮事发,把他叔子监禁府中,严追紧逼,延挨至今,十分里不能完得两分。小乔思量,是父亲的首尾,如何到连累了叔子?打点要在本地方投个乡宦人家,设处些银子赔偿。思量得在本地出头露面,不相模样,所以特到杭州来,要寻个主儿。他昨日见相公大度宽宏,因此特派我们把衷肠转达,不知尊意若何?“姚瑞沉吟道:”多少银子可以完官?“三人见他有些应允,便又道:”得二百金,便可全美此事。若有百来金,也可日前应急。“姚瑞道:”他若长久在我这里,便是二百金,也是小事。只恐目下拿了许多银子去,后来又有变故。“三人笑道:”姚相公果肯应承,少不得千金担子挑在我们三人身上。“姚瑞道:”既要成事,接他当面来,好兑银子。“三人道:”他小官家,脸皮极嫩,当前说起,又是没嘴脸的。姚相公既肯应承,先把银子兑下,封停当了,少不得是我们替他拿去完官。看他到这里,再会银子就是。“姚瑞道:”使得,使得。“便取出天平,叮叮当当,把银子八三兑下,封将起来。三人道:”姚相公,我们替他写张契罢。“姚瑞道:”动了笔,就有些费周折了,不消写罢。“三人深为得计,只当得了一笔横财,连忙走出来。又把一番话儿对小乔说道:”我们到忘了一件事,那姚相公从来不曾与我们识面,承他昨日这个好意思,也该去谢他一谢。“小乔道:”我正要去,只是我们初到这里,不知大佛寺往那一路去?“三人道:”路在口头,一边走少不得一边问道。“小乔不知是计,打扮得齐齐整整,同他三个竟到大佛寺来。原来那三个已先说通的,暗地里得了姚瑞那些银子,一个个都先赚了起身,竟到寓所收拾行李,一道焰径往溧阳去了。小乔眼巴巴的等了半晌,那里见这三个走到?连那姚瑞也不晓得是个骗局,看看到晚,不见三个走来,才把缘故细细问他。小乔听了,目瞪口呆,回答不来,放声大哭。姚瑞安慰道:”事已到此,哭他怎的?此时还在下处,也未可知,我着人去追他转来便了。“小乔道:”我就同去。“忙不及的走到庄上,仔细一看,行李铺盖,收拾罄空,思量要去追赶,怎奈人生路不熟。况且他三个是久惯做马扁的,一去就如断线风筝,那里寻个下落?没奈何,只得投奔了姚瑞。从此,姚瑞也不薄待他,日则同食,夜则同寝。

正是若要不知,除非莫为。有那快嘴好管闲事的,便去城中就与他妻子知道。怎知他到子是一个最厉害的,听了这件事,遂打点轿子,一直抬将出来。采访动静。姚瑞慌了,随即把小乔打发到甫山净慈寺程渊如处寄祝说这程潘渊如原是徽州朋友,平日最是啬吝,再不肯割舍放空用一厘银子,专是鸡蛋壳里算出骨头来的。这也是犯了这椿病,不由你啬吝了。看见小乔生得标致,打动了他那点歹念头,也管不得是好朋友的相处,宽大撒漫起来,只拣他中意的东西,不论多少价钱,开口要的就有。你看那小乔,倒甚乖巧,有得送他,落得收下,若说起要干那把刀儿,他便撒起情来。程渊如开口十次,十次不肯应承。原来,那徽州大老一分银子要做一钱金子用的,想一想看,送他几次,约莫去了一块银子,怎生气得过?

一日,悄悄与个极相好的朋友唐尔先商量。唐尔先吃个惊道:”你平日再不破费一些,缘何在他身上,如此撒漫?“程渊如叹口气道:”不要说起,走到这条路上,不由你算计了。“唐尔先笑道:”你虽然用了这块银子去,都用得不在行,自然不妥帖的。“程渊如摇颈道:”没相干,依他的说话,果是不肯做那一道的。“唐尔先大笑道:”你都不晓得,专是那说天话。撇假清的小厮,易得到手,你若不信,便赌个手段。明日你同他到我房里来,做几壶好酒,把他灌醉了,打一个死虎把你看。“程渊如欢喜道:”你果打得他的死虎?“商议定了,次日午后,程渊如遂同小乔来到唐尔先房里。唐尔先便打点酒,看两人都怀了一片歹心,你一杯,我一盏,把小乔灌得乱醉,便倒身睡在榻上。唐尔先起身,悄悄将他松了裤儿,对程渊如道:”让你先来罢。“程渊如没胆气,道:”还是你先试一试看。“唐尔先道:”打死虎就如偷婆娘一般,一要胆大,二要心粗。像你这样心虚胆怯,一世也弄不成,让我做个样子你看。“说完,轻轻爬到小乔身上,把那尺把长的一根鬼桶,抹了些津唾,也管不得他承受得起承受不起,款款放将进去,紧抽慢送。约有二三百回,那小乔端然不醒。程渊如在旁看得高兴,悄悄地道:”待我也来耍一会看。“唐尔先便慢慢抽出,程渊如高兴得很,爬上去,也记不得放了津唾,干腻腻的放将进去。这遭小乔有些着痛,醒将转来,看见是程渊如,一个脸红,把他推将下来。程渊如笑道:”今朝也着我的手了。“小乔没得回答,那里晓得,只着程渊如一个犹可,却又被唐尔先讨了便宜去。小乔连忙起来,一把扯住程渊如,低低问道:”适才唐尔先看见么?“程渊如道:”他已是睡着的,这等还相模相样。“随即起身,一同别去。

程渊如正到得房里,只见小厮来说,孤山姚相公有书送来。程渊如拆看时,恰是要接小乔去的话。次日,便打发人送他到大佛寺来。这姚瑞见了,就如几十年不见面的一般,这个欢喜也不知是那里来的。那里晓得他去得几时,便有那许多勾当。一日,小乔醉了,把那打死虎的话都说出来,姚瑞想到这番没有礼面,气个不了。次日,便送些盘缠,好好打发他回转溧阳。小乔明知为了那个缘故,没奈何,含泪而别。噫,这不是姚瑞薄情,小乔当深悔于初也。诗曰:小记当初跨玉听,一番光景画船中。

今朝总是天缘满,此际何劳类焚侬。



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